You have a wonderful habit of tearing me apart.

My biggest fear is life and not being happy with the way it's going to turn out.

I wasn't happy then. I don't know what happened. I can't explain why my feelings were lost. I had to do something about it before it got too out of hand.

Just for the record, I'm not happy right now.

Why?

Because I'm hurting you.

“Sometimes I’m terrified of my heart; of its constant hunger for whatever it is it wants. The way it stops and starts.”

— Edgar Allan Poe

For the past few nights, I repeat "Everything is going to be okay" in my head to help myself fall asleep.

Hopefully one day things will actually be that way.

There is a reason for everything.

All I want is to be happy

and I have to hurt people on the way.

How selfish is that?

Here’s to hoping my dreams are better than reality.

I hate being the cause for you being miserable.

I can't deny the fact that you were in amazing a boyfriend because you were. I enjoyed every minute of falling in love with you and sharing the memories that we did.

It's my fault everything is messed up now. My feelings changed and that scared me.

I felt guilty every time you would say "I love you" and I wouldn't feel that way anymore. I felt guilty that my thoughts for you turned from thoughts of love and compassion to thoughts of friendship. I felt terrible for neglecting you for a semester and being busy all the time and not talking to you as much.

I couldn't let myself live with these thoughts and feelings and act like everything is okay around you. I'm sorry it had to be this way.

As for him, he has nothing to do with my decision to break up with you. I started questioning my happiness in December and I didn't start hanging out with him until the beginning of February. You don't have the right to threaten him and you don't have any reason to hate his guts.

I'm the one you should be angry at.

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