Monday, January 2, 2012

Listen, I'm deeply sorry that I keep hurting you and that my feelings have changed. You will always have a special place in my heart but I just lost it. I'm sorry. I hope that you find love and happiness one day and I hope you realize that you do have a purpose here and people do care about you.

As for the other you, I miss you so god damn much it's not even funny. Three and a half years is way to long and I'm pissed that you didn't even bother to contact me while you were in New York, not even a simple "Merry Christmas to you too" text.

I thought you changed, we have had great conversations and I fell for you again. I felt happy again, like the first time I met you. Why did you have to turn that around? I really thought we had something.

But, I told myself from the beginning of us talking again that this may happen again, so don't get too upset over it, and I didn't. I just went on living my life. I try my hardest to do my best in school, maintain friendships, and most importantly make myself happy. I can't waste my time worrying and wanting to be with you when you don't think the same of me. But today it got to me again, I felt the sadness of you not being there physically and just to talk to when I need to. I haven't felt that lonely in a long time.

"Maybe our paths will meet again" After all of this, I hope our paths still meet, but after you have proved that you do care.