There are two important things I would like to blog today, if I have time.

But now, I will rant and ramble on about something I just heard about recently and that has been bothering me for quite a while.

Yesterday, I found out that my mom and my sister, Melanie are going to start counseling soon.

Apparently, Melanie went into the guidance office yesterday and opened up to Mrs. Korba about all the problems she has been having. She did the same with my dad a while ago. The sad part is, she can't even open up to my mom and I. So, Mrs. Korba got my mom and dad into her office as well. I don't know how the counseling thing came about but apparently it did, and it will start soon.

What kills me is that I barely know what's going on at home with Melanie. She would call me up but a lot of the times I would be busy, or in class. When we do get a chance to talk, she doesn't tell me much. Sometimes she just sits on the phone and doesn't say anything to me. I really wish she would tell me what's wrong.

Last year, things seemed fine and somewhat normal. Normal meaning Melanie had the habit of getting up late hence making her late to school, procrastinate a bit, and be a picky eater. Once and a while she would cry and complain about something, even if it was a material item. She would get into some arguments with my mom over stupid things. But, they seemed normal then.

Apparently, ever since I left for college, things have gotten significantly worse. I now believe that my presence in her life being taken away from her so suddenly has made a huge impact on her, which makes sense. But I think she has to learn how to accept change and how to appreciate what she has.

A few years ago, I went to San Fransisco. I loved everything about it. While I was there, I noticed a lot of homeless people and realized that I have never seen so many in one place before. It made me feel horrible. One day at dinner, I decided not to eat much. I packed up my dinner in a carry-out container and gave it to a homeless man sitting on the street. He gave me many thanks and then told us some stories about his life. This moment made me realize how much I wanted to help those people, even if it was just to help them for a few minutes, put a simple smile on their face, or listen to their stories all night long. That's when I decided one day I want to volunteer at a Soup Kitchen and do whatever I can to help. That's when I realized how wonderful my life is and that I really shouldn't take it for granted.

I think Melanie needs one of those moments. I think she needs to learn how to appreciate what she has and not take anything for granted. She needs to learn not to rely so much on material items and learn how to make a living and buy things for herself without asking others for money. She needs to try to live her life to the fullest and not lock herself in her room all the time. She needs to go for walks, watch the sunset, express herself in some form to make her feel better. Maybe through art, music, writing, whatever her passion may be which I don't even know at this point...

I keep telling her she needs to keep her grades up. She slacking in some of her classes and I don't even know why. She's not handing in homework and she's not putting as much effort in as she needs to. I don't want her to end up like me and not be able to pass her Math B regents or not get grades good enough to attend a SUNY college.

She needs to get her head out of trying to fit in with everyone else and be whoever she wants to be and whoever she feels comfortable being. She needs to open up to people who care about her and not completely isolate herself from us.

I really don't know what to do anymore, I try to talk to her but nothing ever works.

I could probably go on for several more paragraphs, but I suppose I should stop for now.

On an end note, I am writing this because I care.